now comfortably in kentucky. i'm starting to get really worried about bills, i have like three dollars to my name at the moment, with a looming 100 dollar phone bill and another 35 for my credit card, and i dont know when i'll get a job. jesse's mom's friend is the district manager at a department store, and they say he can totally hire me, i just have no idea when. i dont want to go find a new job in the mean time in case he can hire me soon, but god damn do i need to find a way to make some money! 

 the weight of being 3000 miles away on christmas is really starting to settle upon me.
i've been living with my boyfriend's grandparents for the holidays in florida.
its a nice enough place, its warm
but i'm starting to go batshit crazy.
i'm so far from home, there's nothing to do, everyone thinks i'm weird
his grandma is a neat freak and is constantly cleaning up after me
i'm so afraid to offend or annoy anyone. but i feel like its all i do.
maybe seaworld will help me feel better. lol

my last day.
then i move out.
i really hope things work.
i feel terrible that my mom is so sad.
but... i gotta go!
i cant wait to see my boo :) 

plane ticket purchased.


i am crap at school. everything. i am crap at school.

this acting thing is looking better and better.
but fuck theatre. i want to do on screen stuff.
and possibly be a movie makeup artist.
sarah has inspired me. 

fuck my credit card company.
i finally got paid like 170 bucks.
which should be plenty for my plane ticket.
and then my credit card company goes and ups my apr to 30 percent.


30 fucking percent.


end my life.

<script type='text/javascript' src='http://www.etsy.com/etsy_mini.js'></script><script type='text/javascript'>new EtsyNameSpace.Mini(6530779, 'shop','thumbnail',1,1).renderIframe();</script>

so be my friend and buy my stuff.

http://www.etsy.com/profile.php?user_id=6530779

and on ebay.
links to come.
i am poor!!

my family doesnt know i'm moving.
they think i'm visiting.
im afraid to tell them i'm moving, i think they'll be disappointed i'm moving in with a boy
and angry i'm ditching out on them. they might cut me off even worse than i am now.
my mom keeps asking me what days i'm taking off work and if it's been approved yet. :(
i am so stressed
tomorrow, i am fucking writing this paper if it kills me.
over and out.

ugh, i didnt quite make enough money for my plane ticket :[
and then my credit card company is all fucked up from my whole fraud claim.
life is gay.
i miss my booboo.
i need to write this damn paper.

i am fucking skipping fucking class.
yes.

and i'm starting at etsy account.

yes.

and i really hope i make enough money for my plane ticket.
yes.

i'm comin back to kentucky.
yup.
and you will tell no one.

nope.

you will keep it to yourself and be as excited as you may... to yourself.
i want it to be a surprise!

i am so very excited. omgomgomg.

not only did i see twilight last night and may therefore be satiated for the rest of my days with pseudo innapropriate daydreams while i'm not paying attention to anything else, but i started writing that infernal paper. now i can finally breathe again.
the paper may not be finished, but knowing i have an outline is soooo stabilizing to my mindset.
and in 45 mins i must leave for work. work work work. i love getting paid every week.

i might have to have my cell phone turned off :[
maybe i can get my mom to pay it.
blaaahhhh

today will end in boredom
and i will start on making beanies for christmas gifts.

i cant belive thats the culmination of my night.
it is so bittersweet.
everything hurts

i have no fond memories of this place as a child.
none.

there is no way i'll be able to afford a plane ticket in time for christmas i think.
i'm only working like three days over the next week.
and probably wont get many after that.
plus all that homework that i still havent done
idk how i'll pass.
:(

i realized last night just how much studying i have to do considering i didnt know i had a huge exam monday.
i need to read like thirty pages of art history
and study like sixty slides. learn all the artists, dates, and titles.
by monday. hardcore.
and i need to start writing this thirty page paper.

so daunting.
this is the first time i'm determined to do a bomb ass job.
i miss my booboo.
and i decided i like the green amethyst ring much better.
i'm going to dye my hair today :) maybe go find some odd jobs to do for family
cuz i need some money.

the poor boy didnt get into sac state on account of his lack of units. only juniors and seniors can transfer there. GAY! but i guess its not so bad seeing as i get to move in with my baby now :]

i just realized the main necessity for secrecy... my job! i'm sure my boss would let me go on good terms if i explained to him my home situation... but still. lame.

picked out engagement ring........ ^o^ sooooo happy for that :] makes me feel all warm and wiggly.

i loved these two

http://www.ross-simons.com/products/273423.html
http://www.ross-simons.com/products/278866.html

particularly the second one.. i love amethysts. i love him! i love lamp.

i think i just hate working.
i dont even want a ton of money.
as long as i have comfortable food and lodging, i'm good!

if i had to have a job though... i'd love working at starbucks again. or a christmas ornament factory. i just saw that on how its made and i immediately tried to look online to find out where these magical places exist. or a disney imagineer. that would be cool too. or a makeup artist! damn i wanna do that!

ugh. options.

soooooooooo i'm movin back to kentucky for a bit. my dad is too crazy so i'm leaving and moving in with jesse for a bit.

theres soooo many people i've missed there. i want to scream it from a mountain top I'M COMING BACK!! and see everyone say ooohhh we missed you etc but at the same time i want to keep it a total secret. idk where that feeling is really coming from. am i partially afraid that no one will care? or do i want to sound really cool and nonchalant. Mr.Darcy wouldnt have proclaimed his return at the mountaintops of facebook.

i already miss my little man so dearly.

went out dancing last night. pretty fun. had a good reunion night with sarah and chris stone. missed my love.

had all my credit cards, debit cards, and checks stolen.

maybe thats a good thing, now i'll save some damn money.

january, i move out :D

the past few months (like 8) i've had a hard time getting excited for things they way i used to. going out with my friends doesnt incite a sleepless night before lying awake planning outfits and makeup and daydreaming. soccer games dont require a healthy dose of car ride bloc party because i'm so hyped.


UNTIL NOW!!

i get to see my booskii, and a trip to SF on wednesday. i am sooooo excited.
i like driving long distances ^-^

then the firehouse

and i had a great interview at Nugget Market today :)